I'm afraid I haven't gone out and done my homework (i.e. I haven't got pissed on cocktails) this month, so can't give you a proper report on a new and exciting beverage. I maintain that this is because I am very ill, not just plain lazy. So instead, I present to you my top 3 discoveries that I have stumbled accross when... erm... tipsy.

1. A fantastic variation of the all time classic, Chips and Cheese, is Jo's uber snack of Potato Waffles, Hula Hoops and Cheese! Grill the waffles to only just undercooked, cover with Hula Hoops and grated cheese then stick back under the grill, to the point when the waffles are fully cooked. This involves careful timing, as too little time means the cheese hasn't melted into all the Hula Hoop holes, but too much time means the Hula Hoops go soggy (Much like the science involved behind dunking a ginger nut into tea).

2. Fx, or VK, or other such sickeningly sweet premixes, make brilliant glue for holding a small cut together. I have spoken of this incident many a time, when I cut my finger on the door and the only thing that stopped it bleeding was Red Berry Fx. The alcohol cleaned it out better than many water supplies would have, and the stickiness helped it all heal within a couple of hours. I believe this is my greatest drunken discovery of all time.

3. If you have some work to do that requires patience, and does not invlove writing sentences (e.g. maths, or drawing graphs for science, etc) make sure you do it when you are so pissed that you won't realise you're doing it. The only time I have ever got full marks in a maths assignment was when I woke up to find it was all done for me. So I either did it when blindingly drunk, or I have, in fact, proved the existence of homework pixies. If it was actually the pixies, I may have to change my opinion that Fx's healing powers are my greatest discovery.

So there they are - my top 3 drunken findings. Now, I beg you, go out, get drunk, recreate these amazing happenings to witness their true power, then go and discover your own, so that the world may be a better place.